Pricey Amy: My boyfriend and I’ve been collectively for 3 months. We recurrently discuss our future collectively, however there may be one factor getting in the way in which.
His ex, whom he broke up with practically eight months in the past, continues to textual content him. At first it was nothing to fret about — it was merely texts arranging for when she would ship him funds of cash she owed him.
Currently, messages are available in practically day-after-day, saying issues like, “I am having a foul day, please reply this whenever you see it. I do not know who else makes me really feel secure.” Or, “I can not wait to be with you once more, child.”
He has been very open with me about the entire thing, letting me learn his messages to her and telling me each time she texts him.
He by no means solutions her texts until it’s about cash, however his large coronary heart will get in the way in which when she tries to govern him into speaking to her.
I need so badly to textual content her myself and inform her to depart him alone, besides I do know that may be overstepping, and may imply that he would not get his cash repaid. He says he’ll block her on all platforms when she has repaid him.
I fear that she might by no means pay him again the full quantity with the intention to all the time have a cause to speak to him.
— The New Girlfriend
Pricey Girlfriend: Your boyfriend is doing the correct factor by being clear with you about these textual content messages. The draw back of him being so open with you is that you’ve got taken on this drama.
You shouldn’t contact her. Initially, this isn’t your enterprise. You don’t personal this man; you do not have the correct to inform somebody to not contact him.
It does appear to me, nevertheless, that an “I can not wait to be with you once more, child” message needs to be met with a one-time “We now have damaged up. It is time so that you can transfer on” message (from him).
If he’s even passively stringing her alongside till she repays him, then he’s being nearly as manipulative as she is.
You do not point out what sum of money continues to be owed, however your boyfriend ought to let his ex proceed to pay her debt, after which he ought to think about stopping all contact — when she nonetheless has a minimal quantity left to pay. Forgiving that final fee is perhaps in everybody’s greatest curiosity.
Pricey Amy: Our son-in-law “Steve’s” stepfather, “Tom,” is a person with whom my husband and I’ve had a cautious however cordial relationship for a few years.
Over the previous 12 months, Steve and Tom have had a significant falling out and Tom is banned from having any contact or relationship with Steve and his household (our daughter and grandkids). We help Steve’s stand on this, since there was a troubled relationship between them for a few years.
Tom and his spouse “Martha” (Steve’s mom) are having marital points, however stay collectively for now. All of us dwell in the identical city and have achieved many joint household gatherings (birthdays, holidays, and many others.) collectively through the years, till this latest rift.
Now Martha joins household social gatherings alone, so now we have had no interactions with Tom for over a 12 months. Quickly Steve, our daughter and the grandkids are shifting out of state. We’re not certain the way to proceed to help Steve’s household, by not socializing with Tom as soon as they’re gone. We now have all the time had a great relationship with Martha.
Now that Steve and household aren’t current, ought to we proceed to exclude Tom?
What do we are saying to Martha once we invite her to gatherings, or if she invitations us to her home the place Tom is perhaps current?
— It is Difficult
Pricey Difficult: “Steve” is nicely inside his rights to exclude his stepfather and to ask that you simply additionally exclude him if Steve and household will probably be current in your house.
Steve doesn’t get to insist that it’s essential to additionally exclude his stepfather when Steve just isn’t even within the state, nevertheless.
You must behave in a approach that almost all honors your unbiased relationship with “Martha.”
Pricey Amy: Ouch! I believed you have been a bit of too robust on “Okay in Colorado” the older man who’s pissed off as a result of so many individuals assume he’s his son’s grandfather. I hope you might be rethinking your reply to him.
Pricey Stung: “Okay” used his frustration over this as a justification for belittling an obese lady, in his son’s presence. I feel he wanted a actuality test.